Iloveulove is an informational site about unconditional love, forgiveness, relationships, and spirituality offering articles, books, and user forums

ULove in Action!

Home Up

What's New
How To...
Site Map
Discussion Forums
Submit Your Work

Unconditional Love in Action-The Goodwill Patterns

By Dr. Guy Pettitt

There are certain goal/attitude/visualization/memory-selection combinations that have been found to enhance the quality of life and relationships more than any others, when you sustain them in your mind by an act of your will. We do not have single words in English (or perhaps any modern language) to describe them, but they were described in Aramaic. Perhaps this is why we have not been able to use them fully. After all, if you did not have the word "hair" in your language, and I said "Go and get your hair cut", you could not possibly know what to do or how to do it!

The forgiveness processes and the goodwill patterns could be regarded as the anatomy of unconditional love. Woven together in practice, they form a kind of tapestry, a stable structure in your consciousness. The Aramaic words are quite beautiful, and I will use them here, describing their meaning as best I can, and give exercises to help you to develop these qualities and capacities yourself which were originally developed by Edith Stauffer. There are levels or stages in developing these qualities. When you understand the levels, you can then decide what level you want to choose to operate from. Just as you cannot decide to speak two languages at the same time, so you cannot hold two different levels of a mind-set at the same time.

The practice of the goodwill patterns plays its part in "bringing heaven to earth" wherever they are practiced. A fuller description of these is contained in Dr. Edith Stauffer's book, "Unconditional Love and Forgiveness" where they are called transpersonal mind-sets, which I urge you to read. What follows is drawn from her work.


Kenoota describes a mind-set of "hunger and thirst for Fairness-for-All," of wanting Fairness for All more than food or drink, i.e. being willing to make some sacrifices for it.

Hunger and thirst are basic needs with considerable driving force behind them, and it is an equivalent driving force behind the desire for Fairness-for-All that is hinted at here. Hunger and thirst are essential tools for survival of the individual, and if we think about it, Kenoota, the hunger and thirst for Fairness-for-All, is essential to the survival of the group, Humanity, on this planet.

There is a kind of spectrum or sequence:- Revenge < Retribution < Legal Justice (for one party) < Fairness-for-All. The quality of mercy enters into the higher goal of Fairness to All - it is fairer to all that mercy should be shown and the wrongdoer be healed rather than merely punished.

Kenoota is the mind-set that lifts us to seeing the best kind of outcome for all in any given situation. It is a group-conscious, or transpersonal, attitude/goal combination. It stems from our deep need and longing to be in harmony - with the natural world, with each other, with the Source of Life. Its outcome is a kind of "vertical" alignment with what is best in us and our approach to living together, and a "horizontal" release of goodwill into any situation in which we find ourselves .

One who practices Kenoota will become increasingly aware of the interrelationship of everything and everyone - "No man is an island..."

Fairness-for-All is as essential to our life as food and water, and the instinctual drive towards it is as right and proper as hunger and thirst. It is the driving force behind the instinct to share.

(It is interesting that the Swedish name "Knut" means "the Fair One")

"Those who hunger and thirst for Fairness-for-All,

for sound and just behavior which takes

account of the needs of all,

more than


food and drink,

will bring heaven to earth."


Khooba is the mind-set that is first of all an intention to have complete openness to seeing, and giving attention, to the good - in oneself, others, and in Life. Without it the mind tends to scan only for "badness" in various, sometimes devious, ways.

This active seeking to perceive the good in self, others, and Life, modifies perceptions, thoughts, reasoning, judgment and discernment, - and thus the output of behaviors, internal processes, chemicals, feelings, and energies of a person. Khooba perceives and focuses our minds on the good energies stored in our memories about a person, and de-emphasizes the negative ones. This starts to open the channels for love to flow once more. It opens the door. It develops the Heart Centre.

Unconditional love includes the use of the Will to practice Khooba independently of the behavior of others.

We choose and will to look for - and recount - the good in others, and to own the good that is in us. The behavior of the other(s) has no effect on our choice to look for the good in them as persons, or in ourselves. We also look for the potential good in a person or even in suffering. We might respond to suffering by trying to make it all happy and comfortable again - or by looking for the needed lessons that are being learned, the potential growth that can emerge. The latter perspective may increase foresight, wisdom, and keep alive those qualities that stimulate growth.

This can have very extensive beneficial effects in ourselves and in our relationships. (For example, if quarrelling, separating, or divorcing parents always recount to their children the good in the other parent, the self-image of the children as they grow will include this good 'part of themselves', internalized as part of their psychological 'inheritance'.)

"The love of a person implies not

the possession of that person,

but the affirmation


that person

in all their uniqueness"


"Those whose perception of others is

unconditionally loving will receive

unconditional love,

enough for themselves

and to give to others."


A mind-set, (goal/attitude combination), which is openness to perceive truly and accurately the needs of others from their position ( including an awareness of their start in life, their historical setting (e.g. the great depression, wartime etc.), their family of origin, childhood, teenage and adult experiences).

It includes the deep desire (goal) to meet those needs if practical, that is, to give Service. It is the basis for looking for "win-win" solutions in relationships, business, and international affairs.

It is accurate empathy. It can be used to determine one's own true needs also.

A basic law affecting all life is that each seeks to meet their own needs (see list at end of this section) as established by their nature, conditioning history, environment, and available level of Will. One expressing Makikh will know the working of this law when observing someone.

S/he will recognize that the other is trying to meet their needs, even if caught in an unpleasant or destructive pattern that may bring harm to himself or others. S/he knows s/he is not really the target of the other's unpleasantness, but that it arises out of the pain of an unmet basic needs.

Hostility and/or preconceived notions tend to close down our ability to see the true needs of others from their position, and to see our own. They also turn scant evidence into proof that we have correctly determined the other's needs. A green filter will "prove" that the person we are looking at is "green"!

Great care is needed to maintain an attitude of Makikh at all times, lest we deceive ourselves into thinking that we know another's needs the way they see them, when in fact we do not. Without Makikh, the needs of others as they see them are blocked from our minds, (neighbors, family members, boss or employees, friends, opponents, etc.). So also can be our own true unmet needs ("I can do without love!......").

All behavior is a form of communication. Illness and unpleasant behavior can also be a communication of unmet needs.

Certain qualities are characteristic of Makikh:- Inner silence and patience which allow the needy one to express their need in their own way and time. The inner silence allows openness, and acceptance of the other. These in turn permit access to the transpersonal energies, establish connection with the promptings from the Higher Self. Ideas and information come then to us from the transpersonal levels of our being - ideas and information not usually available to us on the personal and intellectual levels alone.

This deep inner silence "washes out" our own busyness and activity so that we can become available to intuitive wisdom coming to us from higher levels. This wisdom also enables us to see the difference between needs and wants. Needs are necessities, and meeting them brings satisfaction. Wants come from desires which are stimulated by the environment; meeting them often leads to more wanting.

Focusing on the quality of the service one gives helps one to assess the level of contact with the Higher Self, and to increase that contact: "Help me to truly see and meet the needs of others wisely and lovingly."

It has been said that: "Service is the instinct of the Soul", just as hunger, thirst, etc., are instincts of the lower self. A deep sense of joy begins to pervade wherever this is occurring, even in unpromising outer circumstances. This is different from "reluctant service" performed as a "should", which is usually painful, and is based on conditional love, which is an earlier form of unconditional love.

Service rendered with an attitude of Makikh brings prosperity to all parties, and this can be on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels according as to whether is it physical, emotional, mental or spiritual needs that are being met. Such service will always be sought after, whether it is goods or intangibles that are needed, and whether it is for customer, client, family member, friend, or even "opponent". The transaction brings benefit to both parties. A person who practices Makikh will never be unemployed for long. Employment opportunities open up to those who are willing to love themselves and serve the needs of others. Learning how to see the needs of others (and one's own) takes practice.

"Those who practice Makikh, that is,

seek to understand and meet

the true needs of


will create

prosperity on every level."

1. Makikh opens your mind to perceive the needs of others. It has the goal of meeting those needs if practical.

2. Awareness of your own needs is essential so that you can know if it is practical for you to meet the needs of the others at this time.

3. True success in relationships is not possible without an attitude of Makikh.

4. Needs are basic. They are necessities of life. When true needs are met, there is satisfaction. Wants are desires, stimulated by our outer life, and can be endless.... When wants are met, there is incomplete satisfaction or none at all.

5. Makikhers become excellent listeners and communicators.

6. Meeting the needs of others when practical brings prosperity to all those involved.

Sharing ideas may often meet needs more fully and more lastingly than "doing for" an other. Teaching skills brings confidence and self-reliance. "Doing for" may keep a person weaker than they need to be, and also can lead to resentment.

7. Arrogance is a sign of lack of Makikh. True humility is present in one practicing Makikh. (Unfortunately the English words "meek", "humble" and "humility" have developed mixed meanings and an association with lack of power and even in some cases a lowered opinion of self). Makikh is a strong act, of conscious will.

8. The Transpersonal qualities of inner silence, wisdom, and service develop with Makikh.

9. Makikh is essential to the Forgiveness Process which leads to unconditional love.

Abilii - the relief of mental stress

A mind-set that is openness to compassionate Self-correction. A mind-set , set in place by an act of Will, which has the goals: (i) of allowing errors in one's own mind-processing to come into awareness, joyfully, and with love towards oneself for so doing, and

(ii) of revisioning correction of errors with love and joy rather than self-castigation, self-denigration or remorse. The intention is to learn from the errors and enjoy the self-development that follows.

In Aramaic psychology it was noted that relief or cure of mental stress came with this mind-set, or goal/attitude combination. There is no word in English which adequately conveys this, thus the idea has been hidden from us. We tend to agonize over our mistakes, and being "wrong" is associated with blame, "sinning" with the idea of necessary punishment, perhaps for ever; and these concepts have sunk deep into the mass unconscious of the Western world. Thus it became painful to be aware of our errors, and we have given the message to our minds to keep our errors from our awareness. A poor self-image can arise from this.

Suppressing both our awareness of our errors together with the idea of inevitable punishment can cause us to choose pathways in life that tend to bring about that "punishment". Energy follows thought, and the images made in the mind tend to actualize. There is no need to condemn ourselves or others while learning how to do things better and more wisely, nor to waste energy in remorse. There is no reward for so doing. The energy is better used to impress the mind (and memory-bank) with the desired and improved version of the behavior we want to have for the future.

Distinguish between goofs, sin, and evil. Goofing is error through ignorance. Sin derives from an ancient archery term that means, simply, "missing the mark". After missing the mark, the archer took aim again, making the necessary corrections. No remorse. Evil could be:- Without conscience choosing courses of action that are against Life, with no feelings of guilt about the consequences. Harming or destroying the life, or potential for growth, of others while believing that one is in the right.

It is time to challenge the belief in "sin" requiring punishment. It is time to challenge the belief that therapy must be hard work, and that you must work through your pain, rage, grief, anger etc., before healing it. These beliefs delay healing. The first truth is that "sin" is best seen as error that simply requires joyful Self-correction of the unskilled behavior in the future, and punishment hardly ever causes that. The second truth is that therapy can be fun, playful, and satisfying.

We cannot change that of which we are unaware. The evening review is a tool that can be used to develop Abilii. We spend time at the close of each day studying our actions to learn how to improve them - a technique widely used by successful athletes all the time nowadays, with constant improvement and refinement of athletic performances the world over. We are not our actions, but we are responsible for them, and for learning from their outcome. Essential to Abilii is maintaining an attitude of love for ourselves while we are learning, - it is an act of love for ourselves and others

In short, "Where in my life have I been missing the mark?"

"Those who can be conscious of their wrongs

and self-correct them with joy and


shall be




stress and grow stronger."

Rukha the Home, or Source, of Peace

This word conveys more than just "peace of mind". To be "at Home in Rukha" means to be in contact with the place of deep inner serenity that exists deep within each person's Self, to feel and to be in harmony with one's self and others, whatever the outer circumstances are doing. In this "place" within one's own psyche, one can see the life of the personality as the place of trial and error - a learning ground for the development of all kinds of important qualities. There is a broader perspective than when one is 'caught up in' the ever changing concerns of everyday life. We are in touch with our intuitive wisdom there.

More than that, Rukha has within it a further idea, - namely that, when present, Rukha can be felt, sensed, and directed, like an invisible gentle force that tends to penetrate into relationships and promote harmony. Its presence makes things "the way they ought to be" so that it is like "coming home" when we experience it, - whether in a family, an office, clinic, factory, meeting, Parliament (Yes!) etc. Meetings where people "centre themselves" and become relaxed and at peace before discussions begin do go so much better. It can be imagined to be like a field which aligns things in an overall pattern (like a magnetic field aligns compass needles, iron filings etc.). Rukha aligns people with the best pattern for the group. One person expressing Rukha in an office, for example, can harmonise many people working there. I have used this together with clients at the beginning of consultations now for some time, and find it to be of real practical value.

It is available to us to use whenever we use our Will to lift our consciousness to levels above the personal self.

The Hebrew word "Ruah" means "the Breath of God", or life energy. Life energy was called by the Greeks, "thymos", by the Chinese, "chi", by the Japanese, "ki", by the ancient Indians, "prana", by Paracelsus, "archaeus". The thymus gland is now known to be important in maintaining immunity, or "sense of Self and Not-Self", and seems to have a controlling influence on the acupuncture meridian system, the flow of life energy around the body.

"Let the Spirit of Peace be

spread abroad, in my heart,

in my group,


throughout the world."

Dadcean b'Libhoun - the vision of wholeness

This exercise can be used to attain the truth about some situation or relationship.

Select a quiet place, sit with the back straight (it may even be better to stand), become comfortable. Let the eyes close, become aware of your breathing, and how Life is breathing you.

Set aside emotional concerns for this time. Still the concrete mind that likes to analyze and compare and reason. Let your higher mind be awake and alert. Be aware of the Source of Life.

Raise your consciousness to your Naphsha, your Higher Self, your Soul, above your head, as a centre of light and energy where you are all-wise and perfect.

In this light create an image of yourself whole, in perfect health, filled with joy and gladness. Imagine yourself aligned with the will of your deepest, truest Essence. Imagine yourself in this state of wholeness, fulfilled by doing some kind of service for others. This may be something you have never done. It may even be your main life's purpose - what fulfills you most of all. Imagine yourself doing this happily, easily, and with joy. Hold this picture and allow this joy to express itself through your body. Retain this image in the light of the Higher Self or Naphsha for 3-5 minutes.

Connected with your Higher Self, you are enabled to "see" with greater purity, to see things whole, from a greater perspective, with no faults in the mind. As if from a mountain top, from this more elevated and broader perspective you can also look down on your personal life on earth, and see the inter-relatedness of past, present, future, and the interdependence of different people and peoples, the human family, and the other creatures who share this planet.

This broader perspective can often cast further light upon the situation or relationship about which you were seeking knowledge, and your way becomes clearer through intuition rather than just reasoning it out.

You also "see" without the clouds of prejudice, insecurity, fear of lack, fear of illness, fear of inadequacy. You "see" without projecting past negatives onto the future, for these are expectations that give you no peace. Enlightenment is (among other things) the ability to no longer confuse a partial truth for the whole truth. Purification is the process of eliminating that which inhibits soul vision and the full expression of soul qualities. Disease is the result of inhibited soul life.

Now just let the image go. Become aware of your body, your breathing and where you are. When you are ready open your eyes and return to your usual activities.


"Love is perceptive understanding, the ability to recognize what has produced a situation, and a consequent freedom from criticism. It involves that beneficent silence which carries healing on its wings, and occurs only when a man no longer has to still his lower nature and quiet the voices of his own ideas in order to understand and achieve identification with that which must be loved.

Can you follow the beauty of this concept and comprehend the nature of this silent depth of true understanding?

Wisdom is the sublimation of the intellect, involving the sublimation of both the higher and the lower aspects of the mind. It is a blend of intuition, spiritual perception, cooperation with the plan (of the Evolution of the Universe, of God) and a spontaneous intellectual appreciation of that which is contacted, and all this is fused and blended with and by the love defined above, plus an esoteric sense of energy which must be unfolded as consciousness expands". Alice Bailey

The Goodwill Patterns Summarized


The goal to discover and work towards whatever is Fairest-for-All in any situation, harmlessly.


Serenity or "atmosphere" of a place where this is being practiced. The goal to hold an attitude of inner peace and serenity. Holding this, and remaining open and loving, even when being criticized or attacked unjustly.


The goal to be open to awareness of one's own errors (where one is "missing the mark") - joyfully! And to re-envision the improved behavior instantly so that it is stored in the memory. Compassionate self-correction of one's attitudes and goals.


The goal to open one's mind to becoming aware of the good in oneself, in others, and in life situations, and the act of so doing and telling others about it, so that it influences the atmosphere of situations. Unconditional Positive Regard. Perceptual Love.


The goal to truly and accurately perceive the needs of others from their point of view, with the intention to meet those needs if it is practical. Also to perceive one's own needs in the same light. Accurate Empathy. Humility. A knowledge of the basic needs is necessary to do this.


Seeing things Whole. A wide perspective. Inclusive perception, seeing connections not normally available on the ordinary level of awareness. "Seeing" without faults in the mind (distortions due to conditioning and projection etc.)


The behavior of one who is maintaining all the other the transpersonal attitudes. Inclusive, unconditional love. Goodwill in action.


Home Up

Feedback  -  Site Map  -  Search  - Forums

By purchasing your books or CDs at using our link, you will help support this website. Thank you!



\ Copyright 2002-2009 \
Last updated: 07/11/09

Hit Counter