Kabbalah on Relationships
Kabbalah on Relationships
You Can't Do It Without 'em
According to the ancient kabbalists, when God made the world, He created a consummate vessel to receive His beneficence. That vessel He called Adam. Adam would contain all the energy ever to be manifested in the physical realm of Malchut- and Adam would also be the conduit through which Light would be channeled and shared.
In the beginning, Adam was both male and female, just as each of us is also created male and female. That is how we are made, both physically and spiritually, balancing the two aspects. But when the female aspect was separated from Adam and began to exist Eve, an independent entity, Adam then became the creative force, the dimension of Zeir Anpin, the kind of super sephira which includes Hesed, Gevura, Tiferet, Netzach, Hod, Yesod, - The levels of the tree of life that we have access to- and is the motivator for Malchut. The energy that needed to be manifested now came from him, not from the Creator.
When Adam was the vessel for the Light of the Creator his capacity was unlimited, and tremendous Light was reflected in the physical world. But after the fall and corruption, Adam no longer saw himself as a channel for the Light of the Creator- he channeled only his own light. Eve manifested only an essence of Adam; therefore, the female aspect was reduced to serving the male nature, and the world fell into darkness. Because the female aspect is created in spiritual balance with the male, Eve could not be greater than Adam’s spiritual nature, and the universal female presence became a lesser entity than its original form, because Adam became less than his original form. As the female aspect diminished, there was less and less light manifested throughout the world. Gradually, through the generations, a total depletion of Light took place… until the time of Avraham.
Avraham was the first person to reveal the concept of one God. He recognized that all things that move the world come from one Divine Force. As a result of this awareness and his desire to bring this wisdom to the people, Avraham became the channel for the Light of the Creator. Balance was restored between male and female as Sarah became the vessel that once again revealed the Light of God. The role of Malchut, the female aspect, was elevated, and darkness was replaced with Light. This was the first time since Adam that male and female acted as one. That is why Sarah is referred to as the "mother"- Eve was called "women"- and Avraham is called "father".
Between the time of Adam and Avraham, there was darkness and negativity in the world because the Light of the Creator was unmanifested. In fact, the true purpose of sex is to allow the male aspect to be a conduit for the Light of the Creator, and the female to be a reflector. In order to create and transformation from darkness to Light, Malchut needs to embrace the obligation of manifesting the Light of the Creator by awakening the male desire to channel the Light.
There are many examples in the Bible of Malchut rising up and pushing for change. During the time of the Golden Calf women refused to allow their gold jewelry to be used for the creation of the idol. They would not allow themselves to be a vessel for anything less than the Light of the Creator and did not accept the Golden Calf and the idea of idolatry. It is important to note that until that crucial moment when women chose to use their power to draw down Light, they were treated like chattel. Not until they saw that the Golden Calf would cause a break in the spiritual system- and that the male had lost sight of the purpose for which he was created- could they themselves become elevated.
In fact, when the Creator gave the Torah to the people, He gave it first to the women. When the Torah says: "Speak unto the House of Jacob and unto the children of Israel" the Midrash explains that "Speak unto the House of Jacob" means the women, and "to the children of Israel" refers to the men. Why did He give the Torah to the women first? Because the spiritual level of the household and the spiritual level of future generations is derived from the female.
Today, most of
us lose sight of who we are and what we were created for. But in the biblical
period, the negativity was so powerful that it caused a tremendous desertion
from spiritual teachings. Still, the souls that are here today are those that
refused to be degraded at the time of the Golden Calf. In fact, the souls that
are here are purer than any that have come before- because each time we
incarnate, we either elevate to another level of existence or at least remain
where we were. We certainly do not become less than what we were when the
particular soul that now occupies the body first came into being. And today
we’ve reached a time when the transformation is happening more rapidly than ever
before. That is why people are more spiritual or spiritually evolved, then at
any time in the past. So many levels of negativity have been cleansed from our
From the Bedroom to the Womb It's All About Consciousness.
It is written in Zohar that when Isaac brought Rivka to his mother’s tent a light reappeared - the light that had left when Sarah died. As a result of Rivka’s presence, the light of his mother returned and with that Isaac knew that Rivka was his soulmate. The Zohar tells us that “he knew her, she became his wife and he loved her.” Ordinarily, as relationships go, you get to know someone, you fall in love with them, then you marry them. The Zohar explains that when Isaac discovered Rivka’s sharing nature, her lack of dependence on material things, her desire to be with people, to go outside of herself, the qualities that made her different and made their relationship different from others that are built solely on external things, that is when he chose to marry her.
According to the Torah, Rivka was only three years old when Isaac met her, yet he saw that she was highly spiritually motivated. Although she came from a negative environment (her brother was the greatest sorcerer that ever lived and her father was an idol worshipper) she remained pure. As Rivka grew she became a beautiful spiritual entity. When she was 30, 40, and 50 she was equally beautiful to Isaac because what he saw in her was her internal beauty.
The lesson the Zohar offers us is that for those seeking a real relationship - one with meaning that will bring lasting fulfillment - we should not look at the superficial. If we are looking to find the real one for us, we need to look beyond the external. Don’t get me wrong there must be an attraction, and there is also nothing wrong with having good sex. But know that the purpose of relationships, spiritually, is to create harmony in the cosmos. How does one do that? How does sex make harmony in the cosmos? If your desire is to give pleasure to the other person, if you are both sharing and really loving each other, that coupling generates positive energy in the cosmos as well as in the marriage, and it affects the children that the union will bring into the world.
The Zohar explains that the consciousness of the parents at conception determines the nature of the soul that will be drawn to them. Souls hover in the upper realms looking for the perfect environment to complete their correction, or Tikkune. A soul that requires more difficult conditions, perhaps with abuse or violence, will search for a union where there is lust, anger, or even pain during intercourse. On the other hand, a soul that does not require such an intense correction will choose a couple whose connection is loving, tender and sharing.
The Zohar further explains that the emotional and mental condition of the mother during pregnancy also has a great impact on the development of a soul. The male provides the seed that creates life and the woman makes the home. We know, for instance, that the food a woman eats, whether she smokes or is exposed to smoke, affects the weight and future health of the child. So we do many things to safe guard our body and the baby during pregnancy. But there is much more to it than that.
The Zohar states that the mother is the catalyst by which the soul of a child is formed - the nature of the child is determined by the way she thinks and behaves during the time of gestation. For example, children might steal a candy from a store, or pick up a toy and put it in their pocket. Those children might be considered thieves, but that type of petty thievery we can handle. Then there’s Jesse James, John Dillinger, and Bonnie and Clyde! What I am saying is that the extent of the negativity that exists in the child is determined by the mother’s behavior during her pregnancy. Just as the food she eats, the cigarettes she smokes, and the medications she takes affect the physical body of the child, her attitude affects the child’s soul. It is much easier to accept and contend with physical things, what we see, what we eat, it’s there. This is metaphysics.
There is a sad story about a woman I know personally. During her pregnancy she constantly behaved as though she was sick. Each time I spoke with her I would remind her that pregnancy is a blessing and that she is well. She did not work and did nothing for nine months. Of course, I am not suggesting that if you are sick you have to work, I am only saying that your attitude during your pregnancy will be expressed in your child. Unfortunately this woman’s child was born mentally retarded. So most aware mothers won't smoke cigarettes, but they still get angry, they still rant and rave and cry. This directly effects the formation of the child who feels and knows every single action which we do. As the creator of the space that the child grows in, we must be very careful to allow that soul to have all the beauty that it is worth. The greatest blessing that we give to this world is when we form another soul to go out and do its work. As parents we should know that children’s work is their own. In other words, we should let them grow and fall, and let them get up, and let them fall again. As good mothers, we try to help them, but, they need to grow on their own. The time to really give help to our offspring is in the womb. That is where we are responsible for that life, that is where we can make that child a spiritual being.
There was an experiment done on a moshav , settlement in Israel where they grow apples, tomatoes, potatoes. As part of the study the farmers played music and talked to the seeds and gave them all kinds of nutrients. The result was tomatoes the size of watermelons. If this can be done for a tomato just think what we can do with a child, being formed inside our womb.
In any relationship, whether it’s a relationship with a mate or a with a child, the most important aspect of our being is consciousness. That is what separates what is from what will be. If you are afraid of a mugger you will get mugged. What we think is what we bring to ourselves. If you think positive thoughts you will draw positivity to yourself.
A recent article in the New York Times which cited studies, from l950 until as recently as the summer of l994, showed the incredible results of the placebo effect. The study done in l994 was remarkable in that it involved placebo surgery. Dr. J.Bruce Mosley ,the team physician and surgeon for the Houston Rockets, participated in a unique experiment to explore the value of arthroscopic knee surgery. Ten patients, middle aged men, who were scheduled for surgery to relieve arthritis in their knees, volunteered to cooperate in the study. Two of the men underwent the standard arthroscopic surgery including scraping and rinsing of the knee joint; three men only experienced rinsing alone; and five had no real surgical procedure whatsoever. Their surgery was a pure placebo. The placebo patients were stabbed three times with a scalpel to make the whole thing feel and look real. Six months later, none of the patients knew the details of the experiment, yet all ten said they had less pain and were happy with the operation.
90% of what we experience is determined by our consciousness.
Many people that say "I am never going to get married," and those people will never get married. They have made that decision, and that is their consciousness. This principle applies to every aspect of our lives, from financial success to health. The idea is to forget about those things we are lacking, and to go out and just pour forth positive energy certain that “what we need will come when it comes.”
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