Iloveulove is an informational site about unconditional love, forgiveness, relationships, and spirituality offering articles, books, and user forums

The "Why" Question

Home Up

What's New
How To...
Site Map
Discussion Forums
Submit Your Work

The “WHY” Question

by Colin Tipping

It’s 2.45AM. on Tuesday, April 27. I’ve been in bed for about 2 hours but I am wide-awake now. Littleton, Colorado is definitely on my mind.

When I checked my e-mail before going to bed I saw that someone had started an e-mail chain letter exhorting all of us who might drive anywhere on Friday to switch on our headlights.

I promised myself that I would, but went to bed with the nagging question; “But why?” That’s what woke me up.

Actually, it wasn’t the question that woke me up — it was the answer. At 2:45 in the early morning hours, I realized that I knew, in my head, the answer to that question. I knew intellectually what the switching on of those lights should mean. If only everyone knew it! What a difference it would make. But I didn’t yet have it at the feeling level. For it to be the truth, I had to know it in my heart.

I realized then that I had no choice but get up and do a RADICAL Forgiveness worksheet around the situation. It worked! I came out of the experience with a profound sense of peace and deep acceptance of the “perfection” of what had taken place in Colorado as an opportunity to heal.

Let me explain a little about the worksheet. It is the main ‘self-help’ forgiveness tool in my book “Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle”.

It is designed very carefully to have you first feel the power of, and be fully operating from, the victim archetype. As you describe the situation, you are invited to be fully the victim and to confront your persecutor with all that you blame him/her for. As you feel the feelings associated with being victimized (a vital and necessary step) you are invited to accept them unconditionally as ‘you’ and to love yourself for having them.

You are then taken through a series of other steps that enable you to begin to see that life is not just a random set of events without purpose or intelligence. Rather, what appears to be haphazard and meaningless is really the unfoldment of a divine plan that is totally purposeful in terms of our spiritual growth. (Now you know why it’s called RADICAL Forgiveness!)

We finally get to see that we are co-creators with Spirit and that, without exception, we always get precisely what we (at the soul level) want, and there are no accidents. Everything that occurs out there is just a reflection of our consciousness (our inner world) and is designed to heal our distorted view of reality. Then we can remember who we truly are: spiritual beings - at home in God; not separated from Him at all - expanding His consciousness by having a human experience.

When we surrender to that and become willing to see the perfection in the situation, we recognize that nothing right or wrong took place and that, in truth, there is nothing to forgive. That’s when the shift in energy takes place and we find peace.

That peace is then felt by all others in the situation, and the energy that has hitherto been locked up by our judgments is free to flow. That is the only way to prevent a situation similar to Littleton from happening again. Changing laws, implementing safeguards, laying blame — none of these will do it. They will only ensure that it does happen again, for nothing will have changed on the inner. Trying to change or control the outer world is futile. The only way to make real change is to change our consciousness.

I started doing the worksheet for myself, but realized that it be more instructive if I were to do the worksheet as if I were the American people — the collective consciousness of all those seeking to answer the question “Why?” I invite you to use the worksheet on the next page to come to terms with and to help you achieve clarity and peace for yourself on this event or any other event or situation in you life that needs healing.

I will be posting my completed worksheet on my web site: Once again, if it speaks to you and allows peace to settle in your heart, send it immediately as a gift to others. Let’s get this out to as many people as possible so that we can heal this and, while we are at it, stop the war in Kosovo. Namaste. 

Radical Forgiveness Website

The Radical Forgiveness Experience

Radical Forgiveness: Colin Tipping

If you would care to express your desire for a world of forgiveness, and for racial reconciliation in America, visit and read the 'Spiritual Petition.' Then add your name to the petition. Thanks!

Home Up

Feedback  -  Site Map  -  Search  - Forums

By purchasing your books or CDs at using our link, you will help support this website. Thank you!



\ Copyright © 2002-2009 \
Last updated: 07/11/09

Hit Counter