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Book Review - Radical Forgiveness

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Choosing Forgiveness First

Making the release of all grievances one's top priority


It would be wonderful indeed if a group of people should arrive on Earth
who were for something and against nothing.

-Ernest Holmes


Love Through Forgiveness Is "Radical"

a review by Val Scott of Colin Tipping's book, “Radical Forgiveness”

As most of us intuitively know, it is always a question of love or fear - with only love being real. And all that blocks that experience of love in our lives are the obstacles which we, through fear, place in love's way. And forgiveness - "God's plan for salvation" - the only one, we are told, that "works" - is the tool we have been given to remove all of the obstacles which we have placed in the way of love - and, strangely, most especially God's love for us. Such is the teaching.

So within the illusion of time and space, forgiveness works - and nothing else does. Indeed, anything less than forgiveness, we are told, is simply a "tragic" waste of time. The message is that clear, that direct, and that simple.

Colin Tipping understands this message at the most profound level, and has written a book for the average person in our culture which exemplifies this understanding in an extremely practical way - together with an honesty and passion which needs to be experienced to be fully appreciated.

Let me state at the outset that my purpose in this review is to do no less than inspire everyone who reads it to obtain a copy of the book, read it carefully, and actually do what Radical Forgiveness - Making Room for the Miracle - so helpfully teaches. And I would like to approach that goal by first quoting from a very personal and passionate article which the author himself wrote during the spring months of the Kosovo crisis, using what he describes as "the most transformational tool in the book," a tool called "Making Room For The Miracle - A Radical Forgiveness Worksheet."

In other words, this is how the author teaches himself how to forgive by willingly and fearlessly "taking darkness to light" via a very practical tool he has devised for us. As he states near the end of his book, "Doing this work takes enormous courage, willingness and faith. Honor yourself doing it."

Here is a sample of how the author goes about taking his own advice within the context of "mass forgiveness ":

" ... America is big into denial. If I weren't into denial in a very big way, institutionally, corporately, governmentally and personally, society would look very different. Denial is a natural defense mechanism designed to protect us from sudden overload on the emotional system. But it has become more than that for me now ..."

"Repression is just a deeper form of denial, but is always well below conscious awareness and is all the more insidious for being so. I repress and erase from my conscious awareness what I hate most about myself. This becomes my shadow side. I repress from my conscious awareness that part of me that is greedy, the part that is untrustworthy, the part that is murderous, the part that is a thief, the part that is sexually deviant, the part that might be a rapist, the part that knows that if I was born in the South in the civil war period I would have kept and abused slaves, the part of myself that knows that if I had been born in Germany in the 1920s and 1930s I would have gladly taken part in the Holocaust, the part of myself that knows that if I'd lived at the time of the infamous Trail of Tears I would have gladly taken part in the rounding up of millions of Cherokee Indians, the most peaceful, civilized and culturally rich of all Native Americans and marched them all to Oklahoma. - And so it goes on.

"But, despite the repression, it's hard to keep this stuff down there in my unconscious mind. My Higher Self always keeps moving me in the direction of healing myself - that is, loving my dark side as well as my light side so I can become whole ..."

"Herein lies the gift for me in what is happening in Kosovo. If I can finally face the truth about what I have done, and be released of the shame and the pain, by forgiving Milosevic at a very deep level, knowing that he came into this lifetime with a mission to heal the consciousness of the United States as well as heal very ancient energies around that are, I too will be forgiven and my pain will dissolve. Milosevic's soul accepted the mission knowing that he would be vilified once down in the World of Humanity. His capacity for love must have been enormous."

"If I can reach the place where I can see that he is in every sense fulfilling his role as my teacher and my healer I will be taking back the projection and forgiving myself. If I can simply see him as a soul that was given that assignment only because at the soul level he had enough love to be able to do it for me and all the others who needed to integrate the love their dark sides, I will be able to release the energy I have locked up around this issue and free Milosevic from the contract. His ethnic cleansing policies will cease immediately. That's how it works ...."

All this from a man who makes it clear in his book that, Radical Forgiveness has no limits and is completely unconditional. "If Radical Forgiveness cannot forgive Hitler, it can forgive nobody."

In a different context, he also states that, "Metaphorically, the Earth has a cancer called the human race," and that "humankind is about to receive a massive demonstration of the 'heal by choice or trauma' principle in the very near future." And then goes on to point out, optimistically, "Our methods of healing our own cancers will serve as our methods for healing the planet. We will do so not with the high-tech violent solutions we have used so unsuccessfully up to now in both our "war" against cancer and in our fight to win control and dominion over nature, but instead with the ultimate weapon of love.

Although Tipping is unequivocal when it comes to taking forgiveness to its logical and ultimate conclusion, his approach is essentially a very gentle and simple one, an approach which lends itself to a rather natural duplication process among professional and non-professional people through his Radical Forgiveness Therapy, Coaching Training, and Certification Program. As he states on his website, "I see my mission as nothing less than raising the consciousness of the planet through Radical Forgiveness." After talking to Colin Tipping over the phone, which enabled me to get an even better sense of sense of where he was actually "coming from," I have no hesitation whatever in recommending that his program is one well worth inquiring into further on a personal basis.

Chapter 1 of the book, entitled "Jill's Story," begins with a very engaging account of how Colin Tipping's sister, Jill, was able, with the help of her brother, to literally save and transform her marriage through the principles of Radical Forgiveness. Then the author takes us through his book, step by step, revealing to us how Radical Forgiveness actually works, and how it is different from other kinds of forgiveness, which he puts in the framework of three clearly laid out categories. Pseudo Forgiveness (false forgiveness, pardon, etc.), Traditional Forgiveness ("a way of living in the world"); and Radical Forgiveness ("nothing less than a spiritual path") - focusing on the latter two, complete with charts and several helpful illustrations, as well as an interesting discussion of "Underlying Assumptions" (most particularly from a metaphysical perspective).

Then there is a discussion of "Tools For Radical Forgiveness," which includes insights on how one can "Fake It 'Till You Make It," and how "We need not like the person or love the person's personality, but we must feel genuine love for the person's soul to experience Radical Forgiveness. When we feel this unconditional love for their soul, our soul joins theirs and we become one." 

Then there is "The 4-Step Forgiveness Process," which is outlined very simply:

STEP ONE: "Look what I created" - meaning, we are creators of our reality.

STEP TWO:
"I notice my judgments and love myself for having them" - making clear to us "that as humans we automatically attach a whole string of judgments, interpretations, questions, and beliefs to situations." 

STEP THREE:
"I am willing to see the perfection in the situation" - which emphasizes that willingness is the most essential factor in "any genuine forgiveness process, be it Traditional or Radical."

STEP FOUR:
"I choose the power of peace" - which makes clear that, "This fourth step represents a consequence of all the previous steps."

All of which is synthesized for us in a very helpful way in Chapter 20, "Making Room for The Miracle," which contains a clear and detailed description of how the Radical Forgiveness Worksheet works in practice, ending with these words:

"Remember, all forgiveness starts with a lie. You begin the process without forgiveness in your heart, and you fake it until you make it. So, be gentle with yourself, and let the forgiveness process take as long as necessary. Be patient with yourself. Acknowledge yourself for the courage it takes simply to attempt completing the Forgiveness Worksheet, for you truly face your demons in the process." As did, remember, Colin Tipping himself. This author most definitely "walks his talk" - all the way Home.

In short, a great book - both to read and to use personally. It's no wonder people like Neale Donald Walsch, Alan Cohen, Catherine Ponder, John Bradshaw, and Caroline Myss are so enthusiastic about it! 

Radical Forgiveness Website

The Radical Forgiveness Experience

Radical Forgiveness: Colin Tipping

If you would care to express your desire for a world of forgiveness, and for racial reconciliation in America, visit Radicalforgiveness.org and read the 'Spiritual Petition.' Then add your name to the petition. Thanks!


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Last updated: 07/11/09

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