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Choosing
Forgiveness First
Making the
release of all grievances one's
top priority
It would be wonderful
indeed if a group of people should arrive on Earth
who were for something and against nothing.
-Ernest Holmes
Love
Through Forgiveness Is "Radical"
a review by Val Scott of Colin
Tipping's book, “Radical Forgiveness”
As most of
us intuitively know, it is always a question of love or fear - with only love
being real. And all that blocks that experience of love in our lives are the
obstacles which we, through fear, place in love's way. And forgiveness - "God's
plan for salvation" - the only one, we are told, that "works" - is the tool we
have been given to remove all of the obstacles which we have placed in the way
of love - and, strangely, most especially God's love for us. Such is the
teaching.
So within the illusion of time and space, forgiveness works - and nothing else
does. Indeed, anything less than forgiveness, we are told, is simply a "tragic"
waste of time. The message is that clear, that direct, and that simple.
Colin Tipping understands this message at the most profound level, and has
written a book for the average person in our culture which exemplifies this
understanding in an extremely practical way - together with an honesty and
passion which needs to be experienced to be fully appreciated.
Let me state at the outset that my purpose in this review is to do no less than
inspire everyone who reads it to obtain a copy of the book, read it carefully,
and actually do what Radical Forgiveness - Making Room for the Miracle - so
helpfully teaches. And I would like to approach that goal by first quoting from
a very personal and passionate article which the author himself wrote during the
spring months of the Kosovo crisis, using what he describes as "the most
transformational tool in the book," a tool called "Making Room For The Miracle -
A Radical Forgiveness Worksheet."
In other words, this is how the author teaches himself how to forgive by
willingly and fearlessly "taking darkness to light" via a very practical tool he
has devised for us. As he states near the end of his book, "Doing this work
takes enormous courage, willingness and faith. Honor yourself doing it."
Here is a sample of how the author goes about taking his own advice within the
context of "mass forgiveness ":
" ... America is
big into denial. If I weren't into denial in a very big way, institutionally,
corporately, governmentally and personally, society would look very different.
Denial is a natural defense mechanism designed to protect us from sudden
overload on the emotional system. But it has become more than that for me now
..."
"Repression is just a deeper form of denial, but is always well below conscious
awareness and is all the more insidious for being so. I repress and erase from
my conscious awareness what I hate most about myself. This becomes my shadow
side. I repress from my conscious awareness that part of me that is greedy, the
part that is untrustworthy, the part that is murderous, the part that is a
thief, the part that is sexually deviant, the part that might be a rapist, the
part that knows that if I was born in the South in the civil war period I would
have kept and abused slaves, the part of myself that knows that if I had been
born in Germany in the 1920s and 1930s I would have gladly taken part in the
Holocaust, the part of myself that knows that if I'd lived at the time of the
infamous Trail of Tears I would have gladly taken part in the rounding up of
millions of Cherokee Indians, the most peaceful, civilized and culturally rich
of all Native Americans and marched them all to Oklahoma. - And so it goes on.
"But, despite the
repression, it's hard to keep this stuff down there in my unconscious mind. My
Higher Self always keeps moving me in the direction of healing myself - that is,
loving my dark side as well as my light side so I can become whole ..."
"Herein lies the gift for me in what is happening in Kosovo. If I can finally
face the truth about what I have done, and be released of the shame and the
pain, by forgiving Milosevic at a very deep level, knowing that he came into
this lifetime with a mission to heal the consciousness of the United States as
well as heal very ancient energies around that are, I too will be forgiven and
my pain will dissolve. Milosevic's soul accepted the mission knowing that he
would be vilified once down in the World of Humanity. His capacity for love must
have been enormous."
"If I can reach the
place where I can see that he is in every sense fulfilling his role as my
teacher and my healer I will be taking back the projection and forgiving myself.
If I can simply see him as a soul that was given that assignment only because at
the soul level he had enough love to be able to do it for me and all the others
who needed to integrate the love their dark sides, I will be able to release the
energy I have locked up around this issue and free Milosevic from the contract.
His ethnic cleansing policies will cease immediately. That's how it works ...."
All this from a man who makes it clear in his book that, Radical Forgiveness has
no limits and is completely unconditional. "If Radical Forgiveness cannot
forgive Hitler, it can forgive nobody."
In a different context, he also states that, "Metaphorically, the Earth has a
cancer called the human race," and that "humankind is about to receive a massive
demonstration of the 'heal by choice or trauma' principle in the very near
future." And then goes on to point out, optimistically, "Our methods of healing
our own cancers will serve as our methods for healing the planet. We will do so
not with the high-tech violent solutions we have used so unsuccessfully up to
now in both our "war" against cancer and in our fight to win control and
dominion over nature, but instead with the ultimate weapon of love.
Although Tipping is unequivocal when it comes to taking forgiveness to its
logical and ultimate conclusion, his approach is essentially a very gentle and
simple one, an approach which lends itself to a rather natural duplication
process among professional and non-professional people through his Radical
Forgiveness Therapy, Coaching Training, and Certification Program. As he states
on his website, "I see my mission as nothing less than raising the consciousness
of the planet through Radical Forgiveness." After talking to Colin Tipping over
the phone, which enabled me to get an even better sense of sense of where he was
actually "coming from," I have no hesitation whatever in recommending that his
program is one well worth inquiring into further on a personal basis.
Chapter 1 of the book, entitled "Jill's Story," begins with a very engaging
account of how Colin Tipping's sister, Jill, was able, with the help of her
brother, to literally save and transform her marriage through the principles of
Radical Forgiveness. Then the author takes us through his book, step by step,
revealing to us how Radical Forgiveness actually works, and how it is different
from other kinds of forgiveness, which he puts in the framework of three clearly
laid out categories. Pseudo Forgiveness (false forgiveness, pardon, etc.),
Traditional Forgiveness ("a way of living in the world"); and Radical
Forgiveness ("nothing less than a spiritual path") - focusing on the latter two,
complete with charts and several helpful illustrations, as well as an
interesting discussion of "Underlying Assumptions" (most particularly from a
metaphysical perspective).
Then there is a discussion of "Tools For Radical Forgiveness," which
includes insights on how one can "Fake It 'Till You Make It," and how "We
need not like the person or love the person's personality, but we must feel
genuine love for the person's soul to experience Radical Forgiveness. When we
feel this unconditional love for their soul, our soul joins theirs and we become
one."
Then there is "The 4-Step
Forgiveness Process," which is outlined very simply:
STEP ONE:
"Look what I created" -
meaning, we are creators of our reality.
STEP TWO: "I notice my judgments and love myself
for having them" - making clear to us "that as
humans we automatically attach a whole string of judgments, interpretations,
questions, and beliefs to situations."
STEP THREE: "I am willing to see the perfection in
the situation" - which emphasizes that willingness
is the most essential factor in "any genuine forgiveness process, be it
Traditional or Radical."
STEP FOUR: "I choose the power of peace"
- which makes clear that, "This fourth step represents a consequence of all the
previous steps."
All of
which is synthesized for us in a very helpful way in Chapter 20, "Making Room
for The Miracle," which contains a clear and detailed description of how the
Radical Forgiveness Worksheet works in practice, ending with these words:
"Remember, all forgiveness starts with a lie. You begin the process without
forgiveness in your heart, and you fake it until you make it. So, be gentle with
yourself, and let the forgiveness process take as long as necessary. Be patient
with yourself. Acknowledge yourself for the courage it takes simply to attempt
completing the Forgiveness Worksheet, for you truly face your demons in the
process." As did, remember, Colin Tipping himself. This author most
definitely "walks his talk" - all the way Home.
In short, a great book - both to read and to use personally. It's no wonder
people like Neale Donald Walsch, Alan Cohen, Catherine Ponder, John Bradshaw,
and Caroline Myss are so enthusiastic about it!
Radical
Forgiveness Website
The Radical Forgiveness Experience
Radical Forgiveness: Colin Tipping
If you would care to express your desire for a world of
forgiveness, and for racial reconciliation in America, visit
Radicalforgiveness.org and read the 'Spiritual Petition.' Then add your name to
the petition. Thanks!
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