Chapter 4 - Part 1 of 2
Chapter 4 - Getting Your Forgiveness Agenda
You will need to make a list of people and events for which you need to use the Forgiveness Processes.
Various strategies can help you to get this information. Your list may come from:
(i) your own conscious knowledge of sources of pain, tension, disease, or repetitive patterns in your life that disappoint you. The questionnaire can help you with this.
(ii) the kind of language you use (e.g. "so and so is a pain in the neck to me" ...) There are very many phrases like that in everyday use, and they can often refer accurately to the place in the body where there is stress as a result of unhealed resentment).
(iii) Biofeedback, either by instruments, or more easily by muscle response testing, which tells you how your body and nervous system react as you think of different people from your life story.
(iv) Other methods of exploring your unconscious by methods involving regression and/or emotional release. Examples are hypnosis, rebirthing, psychodrama, gestalt work, neuro-linguistic programming, primal scream therapy, various kind of bodywork, especially bio-energetic body work, Well Springs alignment to music, holographic breathing, transactional analysis etc. The important thing with all these is to know how to apply the forgiveness process quickly to any material that emerges, not to remain caught up on the emotional plane.
Start making your list
now! Do it joyfully, looking forward to the time when your emotional and mental
household will be quite cleaned up and purified of toxic thoughts and feelings.
There is actually no need or requirement to feel miserable as you do this search
for what needs to be healed; why not do it with joy and self-nurturance?
How can you know if, and for what, you need to use the forgiveness process?
A GOOD GENERAL RULE IS THAT WHENEVER YOU EXPERIENCE PAIN, TENSION, OR DISEASE, THE FORGIVENESS PROCESS COULD BE HELPFULLY APPLIED. THE MAIN TASK IS REMEMBERING TO DO IT!
Here is a questionnaire others have found helpful to help you locate sources of unhealed resentments still in your system. Start by ticking off in pencil (then you can erase and reuse) any of the following that you are aware of, and be honest with yourself, for only facing the truth with love will make you free.
Can you recall:
Any broken or shaky relationships.
Resentments, humiliations etc.
Sources of pain, burden, distress, discomfort, reduced vitality, dis-ease, in your life as you think about them now,....or...
as you experience similar situations in the present,....or....
as you contemplate similar situations in the future.
Times when other people disappointed you - "let you down". Who? When? What happened?
Recurring patterns in your life that never did or don't work for you now.
Feeling tense and stressed after being with, or thinking about, certain people - (ESPECIALLY for events involving those close to you or with whom you work, daily, to close the day "in the clear" and improve your sleep quality).
Not feeling free with respect to a particular person or persons.
Still feeling bad about someone who left you, died or committed suicide.
"things" ..... allergies(?) ... organizations
nuclear threats.... crime... land mines
"chemicals"... certain kinds of music
i.e. the people you believe are responsible for the above:
doctors........ hospitals..... nurses..... midwives....
other health professionals.... counselors (psycho)therapists
certain nations... certain other races...
other political parties..... multinational corporations...
drug pushers.. arms dealers
Church organizations... priests... nuns...
Even "God" or Life itself (or at least your/their images of "God" - "How could God allow that to happen?") Surprisingly, many examples of this have been seen, even for people who have regarded themselves as quite spiritual, or as dedicated church members or staff.
parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles,
brothers sisters children,
about those with addictions infidelity,
Differences over Use of time money, sex,
parenting methods authority
office, factory, shop, clinic , other
Differences over communication, negotiations,
Problems with "difficult" clients, patients,
customers, or resentment of your competitors.
teachers , pre-school, primary, secondary,
tertiary, university, polytechnic, medical school,
As a child: "You ought to have given me permission to...." (leading to depression later on?) (who was it or is it now?)
"You ought to have approved of me and not hurt me...." (who was it or is it now?)
As an adult: "You ought to have done x instead of y!" (who was it or is it now?)
"Things that give me tension (politicians, noise, the nuclear arms race, pollution, generalities....etc.) get at me so much I feel helpless in the face of them."
or: "....they make me so angry!" (who was it or is it now?)
"You should agree with me!" (who was it or is it now?)
"You should see through the same hole in the strainer that I'm looking through!" (not being able to tolerate those who differ from you in their religion, politics, outlook on life or how to be healthy, etc.) (who was it or is it now?)
"You should climb the mountain by the same path I'm using, (it would be so good for you!)" (who was it or is it now?)
"If only you loved me you would know what I need and I wouldn't have to tell you, you would just read my mind perfectly." (who was it or is it now?)
"You don't love me any more, you......!" (who was it or is it now?)
"You're trying to hurt me!" (who was it or is it now?)
"Can't you see what you're doing to me!" (who was it or is it now?)
"You make me feel bad!" (who was it or is it now?)
"If only so-and-so would get off my back!" (who was it or is it now?)
"It/you/they... make me sick and tired...angry...fed up..etc." (who was it or is it now?)
"He/she/they...are a pain, (in the neck, butt, arse, etc....)" (who was it or is it now?)
"I get all churned up when you/they/she/he do...." (who was it or is it now?)
"I can't take, stand, or swallow that..." (who was it or is it now?)
"I'm so pissed off that.." (who was it or is it now?)
"It eats me up that.." (who was it or is it now?)
"It's getting me down that..." (who was it or is it now?)
"People must know that..." (who was it or is it now?)
"People should....." (who was it or is it now?)
"My son/daughter/wife/husband/teacher/mother/father, etc., is/are a problem to me. If only they would...... (who was it or is it now?)
"I'm broken-hearted about..." (who was it or is it now?)
"I'm so uptight about..." (who was it or is it now?)
"I can't get through to... there's a barrier between us" (who was it or is it now?)
"My heart sinks when I hear that so-and-so is coming" (who was it or is it now?)
"I prefer to avoid so-and-so" (who was it or is it now?)
Sentences with the words
"should, ought, never, always..."
Another way you can find out who you need to forgive (and whether you have completely forgiven someone after using the forgiveness process), is to use the natural biofeedback your own body can give you. Biofeedback instruments use the fact that the body changes its skin resistance, muscle tone, brain waves, and skin surface temperature when different thoughts/images pass through the mind and brain. Good results can also be obtained much more simply and cheaply in practice using muscle response testing.
While it looks simple, this is actually quite sophisticated and can give you a complete "read-out" of the forgiveness agenda any particular body is carrying. If you are new to body-mind medicine or if it seems too confusing to you, I suggest you do not get involved with muscle response testing right now, at the beginning of your studies into forgiveness. Just use the questionnaire method, above. But ... if you are interested and willing enough to do some serious study into this area, it is really fascinating and offers a wonderful tool for integrating body, emotions, mind and soul.
The difficulty here on the website is that it is much easier to demonstrate muscle response testing than to describe it satisfactorily in words alone. I include it here, however as some of you may want to know how to go further in this matter.
The power of an indicator muscle varies as you think of certain people or situations. This is not new. People who are depressed with negative thoughts have a characteristically slumped posture. Athletes who are in personal crisis may not perform so well on that day. This phenomenon can be used to give you a "read-out" of how much you are currently blocking the flow of vital force (love, life energy, or goodwill energy streams) with respect to various thoughts and memory-images, even if the event(s) being recalled happened a long time ago. Your body can give you much information about what is in your system, even if you are usually unconscious of it.
Muscle Response testing is a valuable tool which can be used to help clear the debris of past unhappiness and disappointment quickly so that you no longer damage your body or relationships with unconsciously held negative memory traces and mind-sets.
I must admit that in a Forgiveness workshop setting you would more easily to be able to be coached in the skill of finding out how images affect your energy and strength. You could experience directly the effect upon your body of thinking critically of another (or yourself). You could more easily see and experience how energy flows. You could see it demonstrated how it is unloving and weakening to yourself to harbor critical thoughts of yourself or another, how holding critical thoughts of others or self diminishes your available energy, as well as theirs. From these demonstrations we get a strong impression of how harboring a negative perception of oneself or another, in some way actually reduces the flow of love and life energy available to you from your inner Source, or Higher Self.
Is this a basic law of nature? Our ancestors chose the words "negative" and "positive" to describe certain mental attitudes and emotions. Why? "Negative" means "minus" or subtracting. "Positive" means "plus" or adding. In the same way that darkness is the absence of light, not an active something to fear in its own right, what we call "hate" (or its milder euphemisms like "resentment") may really be better understood as blocked, subtracted, or insufficient love rather than an active negative force. Just as light dispels darkness, a "positive" quality always displaces a "negative" one.
You are invited to research muscle response testing for yourself in the best of all laboratories, - yourself and your own life.
Here is information about the muscle testing procedure, and some resources for understanding it better:-
Have a person whom you trust do the "basic muscle test". They will then test the variations in your deltoid muscle strength - using the method shown in the Whole Life Endeavors workshops, which was derived originally from the basic test described in Dr John Diamond's books "Your Body Doesn't Lie" and "Life Energy", both of which I heartily commend to you. The photograph below has been scanned from a page of my well-used copy of "Your Body Doesn't Lie".
You will find that the strength in the test muscle varies according to what the one being tested is thinking, wearing, looking at, listening to, imagining, feeling, etc. Dr Diamond did a lot of research into this, which was published in a series of newsletters and monographs. This fact can be used diagnostically to heighten awareness of unconscious processes and then therapeutically, to modify them. When used to work psychologically, Diamond called this method "behavioral kinesiology". It was developed from earlier forms of kinesiological testing, of which Touch for Health originated by Dr. Thie, and Applied Kinesiology developed by Dr. Goodheart were two of the earliest. Educational Kinesiology is a later application, developed to help people with their ability to learn. Transformational Kinesiology is a subject being developed by some Danish investigators for applications to spiritual development and healing.
What I have done is to apply this basic test to getting a Forgiveness Agenda read-out off someone's physical body.
(Dr Diamond's books and monographs on many interesting subjects related to Life Energy, Music, Creativity and Healing are obtainable now from the Diamond Centre, PO Box 381, South Salem, NY 10590, USA. Tel: 914-533-2158, Fax: 914-533-2408).
1. To do this test to get the "forgiveness agenda" you must first learn to test "in the clear". The person being tested puts out their arm - usually the left one, horizontally outstretched laterally from the shoulder, holds it strongly outstretched, and is neutral in thought - not thinking of anything in particular. The tester presses the arm down firmly and relatively briefly, so that the one being tested resists and can feel the available strength in their deltoid muscle - the muscle which lifts your arm out to your side (see picture above - download time about 1-2 mins.).
There are certain precautions needed when you use muscle response testing. That is why I suggest you read the books by John Diamond, and if possible find someone who teaches about kinesiological testing. Be aware though that in some countries the word "kinesiology" is also used by physiotherapists and similar professions to describe the science of muscle movements in general - e.g. human engineering for industry, sports or office activities. I prefer to use the term muscle response testing (MRT) because kinesiology is also used in these other contexts.
Make sure that you do it with the precautions needed to ensure reliability - an open mind (no desire to get a particular result, just natural curiosity as to what the result will turn out to be), no battery operated watches, telephones, calculators etc., on your persons, no fluorescent lights, no music, no recent sugar, drugs or alcohol intake, and do not look into the face of the person being tested or make eye contact while you are testing, etc.. Any of these can distort the test. I believe it is better for the pair to not look at each other while the testing is being done, for even facial expressions can affect the one being tested.
It is helpful then to test while the tested holds their arm out as strongly as possible, and says "Yes"; and again after a brief interval when s/he says "No". The most common (one might call it the "normal") response is for there to be more strength with "Yes" than "No". You can check it several times until the tested and tester are happy that this is so. If this is so, go on to Step 2. Note also how this gives the tested experience of how their muscle strength actually does vary. Even though they try to exert all their strength, the variation is outside their conscious control.
If this is not so, then there can be "switching" present. A few people may show a weak response to both "Yes" and "No", or a switched response, with "No" being stronger then "Yes". I have observed that this occurs in people who grew up in families where parents may have said only "No!", and "Yes" was hardly ever heard; or where, in the family communication system "Yes" may have often meant "No" or vice versa, which is very confusing to a child. The neural structure which results makes relating to others difficult later in life. One person who showed this pattern had trained herself to smile and say "yes" when she meant "no" as a professional helping "martyr" and was very stressed by the word "yes". I find that if this kind of switching is present, then adequate exploration of the issue can bring about a restoration of the "normal" pattern in which the positive response "yes" adds energy and strength, and the negative answer "no" subtracts it. Only when this has been done can you proceed, yet even this small therapeutic maneuver can have very beneficial effects in the person's life.
Once there is consistent and strong response for "Yes" and a weaker response for "No", you can go on to Step 2. (Some professional kinesiologists may use other methods to correct switching, but for the purposes of the forgiveness agenda I have found this method usually to be sufficient).
2. Thus you have discovered that the available strength varies with what the one being tested is thinking about - at least if it is a "yes" or a "no". Once you have mastered how to do the test, you can now determine how the strength varies as the one being tested says different statements. The body responds to the ideas and feelings generated unconsciously either by weakening (a stressed, or "no" response) or remaining strong (a non-stressed or "yes" response). In fact, the absolute results of the test are not as essential for forgiveness agenda testing as they might be when the test is used for other purposes, for it is the variation in muscle strength as experienced by the one being tested which gives the clues as to whom they need to forgive. Also, the increase of strength found when the forgiveness process has been successfully completed give clues as to how fully that has been accomplished.
Results can be plotted on a chart like the one below. I put in the names of all the people the patient/client has mentioned to me in their life story, or anyone else they want to be tested for. I use plus (+) or minus (-) signs to indicate if the test was strong or weakened when that individual was being tested for.
Continue to next section: Part I - Introductory Section - Maps & Tools - Common 3
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